A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.
I’ve been shopping for my wife’s birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn’t you come to my house – you could have had some of ours for free!
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks,’I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.’Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and thistime he doesn’t get her anything.She says, ‘Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?’He replies, ‘You didn’t use what I got you last year!’
Sam’s girlfriend’s birthday was the same day as his father’s. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, ‘Use this all over yourself and think of me.’ Unfortunately he put the note on his father’s present.
