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A blind man walks into a store with his Seeing Eye dog.
All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.
The manager runs up to the man and asks, “What are you doing?!!” The blind man replies, “Just looking around.”

No Dogs Allowed

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!”
The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.”
“Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on me.”
The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.
Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says “You can’t bring that dog in here unless you tell him it’s a seeing-eye dog.”
The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink.
The bartender says “Hey, you can’t bring that dog in here!”
The second man replies “This is my seeing-eye dog.”
The bartender says, “No, I don’t think so.
They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs.”
The man pauses for a half-second and replies “What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?”

Blind guy walks into a bar

Blind guy makes his way to the bar and asks the barmaid “wanna hear a blonde joke”?. The barmaid cocks her shotgun and says : “I’m a blonde and I have a gun, the 2 girls on your right are blondes and they are tag team wrestlers, the girl on your left is a blonde tattooed head to foot and rides a harley and the girl behind you now is my bouncer, a blackbelt and is also a blonde. Sure you still want to tell that joke?”. The blind guy says….”not if I have to repeat it 5 times.”

Blind in one eye

I got one cousin, he’s blind in one eye ’cause he tried to kill himself with a slingshot. I don’t even know how you go about that, you know? He shot the thing off; it completely missed his head. His dad came in, saw what he was doing, thought he was so stupid — poked his eye out.