Sitting High Up – Cheer Up

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up!

Just Fishing -Cheer Up

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.
“Tsk Tsk!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if I can help.” So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, “What are you doing, my friend?”
“Fishin’, sir.”
“Fishin’, eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?”
The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of vodka and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, “Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch today?”

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, “You are the sixth today, sir!”

Donkey Raffle -Cheer Up

A Cajun named Jean Paul moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer rove up and said, “Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died.”

“Well then, just give me my money back.”

“Cain’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

“OK then, just unload the donkey.”

“What ya gonna do with em.”

“I’m gonna raffle him off.”

“Ya cain’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

“Sure I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anyone he’s dead.”

A month later the farmer met up with the Cajun and asked, “What happened with the dead donkey?”

“I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 apiece and made a profit of $898.00.”

“Didn’t no one complain?”

“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back.”

I Want To Speak To My Lawyer

A guy phones a law office and says: “I want to speak to my lawyer.”
The receptionist replies, “I’m sorry but he died last week. ”
The next day he phones again and asks the same question.
The receptionist replies, “I told you yesterday, he died last week. ”
The next day the guy calls again and asks to speak to his lawyer.
By this time the receptionist is getting a little annoyed and says, “I keep telling you that your lawyer died last week. Why do you keep calling? ”

The guy says, “Because I just love hearing you say that.”